


Atlas

by Edalari, Mansurovacool



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: AU, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 21:12:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16940826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Edalari/pseuds/Edalari, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mansurovacool/pseuds/Mansurovacool
Summary: Sometimes the sky lying on his shoulders is not so heavy





	Atlas

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Russian](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/439470) by Edalari. 
  * Inspired by [Атлант](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/439473) by Edalary. 



> Thanks to Edalary for the wonderful ideas. A translation of "Атлант" written by Edalari. The permisiion for the translation was asked and given in written form. I was taken and facinated with this little story and I wanted to share it with you. All mistakes and failes are consedered to be mine, not the auther's ones.

There is a small cozy house in the South-East of England, somewhere near the straight. It is surrounded with a large garden, where you can find apple-trees and roses , and some hives.

John has been living in this house for ten years. Certainly he is not alone. He lives there with his husband.

John adores his house, garden and bees. But he doesn’t adore his husband. He just loves him. And due to his love he can burn this house, the garden with roses and hives with bees and leave the place… but only with his husband. And it doesn’t really matter wherever John will follow him – to the end of the earth, to the space, to the hell… Even jump down the roof… it doesn’t matter. But TOGETHER.

John looks at the sky, above the sea, breathe in the fresh and salty air and smiles.

John doesn’t work. He knows that he was a doctor and even something else but dimly. And John knows that he was a soldier. It is war he remembers better. He remembers the heat and the heavy sky of the desert. He remembers shots and explosions. He remembers blood and clouds of flies over the corpses.

But he doesn’t want to think about the war here, in this nice place near the straight. He would like to recall his meeting and acquaintance with his better half but he can’t…

John knows that he took part in the war in Afghanistan. He knows that he was given early retirement from military service on medical grounds. He knows that after returning to London he met his husband and they lived together for some time. And then it was an accident and John forgot everything.

The devil of it was that he remembered his childhood and youth, some part of his adult life, three quarters of which was connected with the war… but his life in London after coming back seemed to be deleted with a part of his brain.

John rubs the back of his head and feels the scars. He can’t see them, but they can be palpated.

That’s why John doesn’t like Alan to touch the back of his head.

"John!"

The nice deep mellow voice – bitter chocolate with some pepper – resounds over the garden and over the sea till the smoke blue horizon. John turns round and his eyes meet grey eyes of his husband. John smiles watching dark-ginger curls rumpled by the sea wind. Alan hugs him and kisses his temple.

 

"You haven’t put on your head. Again. Don’t you have a headache?"  


"Oh, no," answers John. "Have you finished the deciphering?"

Alan sniff scornfully:"An hour ago. My brother is surrounded with idiots. John? " And all his arrogance disappeared and only trouble sounds in his voice, " What’s the matter?"

John hesitates but asks:

"Maybe you’ll introduce us to each other? I think that our ten-year-marriage is enough to get acquainted to your family…."

"Oh, no and it’s out of question. He is just a turkey-cock. I don’t want see him close to you. He will look down his nose at you and says his polite but scurrilous things. Surely you will forgive him. But I will see him off and break his proud nose."

John laughs.

John doesn’t give a thought that Alan doesn’t let into his life anything that could remind him the two forgiven years .John’s mood and attention aren’t sustained after the trauma and it will not change. But due to this Alan can be sure that John will never remind Holmes.

 

Alan is sure that John doesn’t need any memories and flash backs about that person. John is happy here, taking care of garden and roses, having quarrels and making peace with the neighbours, writing funny and scared stories about war, ghosts, pirates… And loves him, Alan.

 

Alan is totally cool about the falsehood and manipulation. They are the means. John must be happy. Alan will do his best to come this true. And these are not just words. He is doing everything for it.

Alan hugs John a little bit stronger. John laughs and hugs Alan in return.

 

"I love you," whispers Alan, "only you."

He thinks his tenderness will tear him to pieces. He thinks that he will never, never, never leave John alone. Because he knows exactly what will John do if Alan abandons him. 

He will die.

And Alan is not ready for such high price cause there is nothing in the world that is equal to John’s life.

Alan is happy that John survived after his damned jump from the damned roof of the Barts in a month after damned Holmes's death. And Alan is happy that John forgot that vain idiot.

But sometimes in the evening John has awful headaches and Alan gives him an anesthetic injection and John goes to bed. Alan sits near and waits. After some time a certain nightmare comes to John. He groans and whispers:

"Sherlock…"

And Alan gives him one more sedative injection. But John doesn’t wake up from it.

Being sure that his loved one is sleeping, Alan goes out of the bedroom. He comes into the living room and opens the most often used hiding place. Moves the box with hair-dye, he takes his cigarettes and goes out into the garden. Having smoke a cigarette, he raises his head up and looks at the stars over the sea.

Alan is happy.

Because sometimes in his sleep John remembers his name.


End file.
